The Global Slowmad

Doha has one of the world’s best airports. There’s no good reason to venture beyond it.

Ok, that might be a slight overstatement. I will concede that Doha might appeal to the same people who go to Phoenix in summer for the weather or who really like Plano, Texas. It’s asphalt, concrete, glass and luxury SUVs as far as the eyes can see. It is Las Vegas without the gambling or the merriment. Am I painting a picture yet?

Cue up some Radiohead, as it amused me to no end that many of the roads in Doha are literally lined with fake palm trees. The capital of Qatar is grossly overbuilt and consists of little more than remarkably isolated clusters of pedestrian-unfriendly roads, shopping malls, expensive hotels and empty skyscrapers. It is a city where consumerism has run amok. Admittedly, the collection of high-end retailers who have chosen to open a storefront here is remarkable, and there is a certain type of traveler who will appreciate the excess. But that’s not me. The modern architecture (which I typically do quite enjoy) is creative and stunning but not cohesive or inviting. It’s difficult to view on foot and impractical to photograph in a moving vehicle.

Doha also is way too expensive for a normal person on a normal budget. The only real travel secret I uncovered is to take advantage of happy hour specials offered by many high-end hotels and restaurants. You can get some pretty good food and drinks for a halfway reasonable price that way, as affordable dining options are otherwise limited. That’s also how I used up one of my quarterly AmEx Hilton credits. (The Waldorf Astoria Doha West Bay breakfast buffet — free if booking via the AmEx travel portal — deserves a special mention too.) You would be surprised how many “unlimited” cocktails you can consume in 2 hours when you have nothing to do and nowhere to go.

From a cultural standpoint, Doha is proud to host major international DJs and musical artists throughout the year, but the local live music scene is virtually non-existent. It’s biggest claim to fame was hosting the FIFA World Cup in 2022, which you may remember from the oppressive heat, human rights protests and bribery allegations. There is plenty of public art, but nearly all of it is expensive and commissioned. There is no evidence of an underground street art scene or any hint of counterculture. It all felt quite sterile.

Try as I might, I was unable to scratch beneath the surface of this city. I even booked a small group tour with a local that was specifically marketed as a way for visitors to learn about the country’s rich history and culture. Instead, I endured a 4-hour ride with 6 other people in one of the approximately 5 trillion (only a slight exaggeration) white Toyota Highlanders in this city to listen to kingdom-approved talking points.

Our guide failed to mention until we were already en route that the Islamic Art Museum and the National Museum of Qatar were closed on Fridays for religious observance. Put that in the category of things that would have been nice to know in advance. (I later learned they were only closed on Friday mornings, not all day.) We also were taken to a “cultural village” that turned out to be a modern shopping and entertainment venue with a small exhibit discussing the history of pearl diving. We saw the marina where modern replicas of traditional dhow boats are moored to await sunset cruise time. And a Swiss gentleman in our group confided to me that the “historic” Souq Waqif market our guide was so eager to show us (which also was mostly closed for Friday prayer) really is only about 20 years old because it had already been largely abandoned when it was destroyed by a fire in 2003. Is absolutely nothing here genuine? One of the primary reasons I chose to visit Doha instead of Dubai was because I thought it might provide a more authentic glimpse into daily life in the Persian/Arabian Gulf. I thought wrong. So much for history and culture.

Our guide was happy to point out all of the new high-rise condos being built around the city but avoided answering a fairly direct question from one of my tourmates as to whether the average worker in Doha can afford to live in them. Hint: they can’t. Qatar has a notoriously high GDP per capita, but only 400,000 of the 4 million residents of Doha are Qatari citizens who actually benefit from the country’s immense oil wealth. The remainder consist primarily of low-wage workers from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh. Oddly, westerners are only allowed to purchase property in a single district that bears a striking resemblance to the Las Vegas Venetian Resort. I still have no idea where the laborers who are building this portent of societal doom monument to urban opulence live; that most certainly was not going to be on our itinerary.

Our guide advised us not to trust what we read about Qatar on the internet, but some of what he shared with us was, frankly, not that credible either. We were told that a giant sculpture of an open hand means that there is no corruption and no crime in this country. Oh, really? I guess they just offer to buy new airplanes for foreign heads of state in the middle of a tariff tantrum out of generosity. And it does seem odd to need multiple sprawling prisons someplace with no crime.

Perhaps most disappointing was that our guide did not explain anything about Islam or its obviously important role in modern-day Qatar, although he did leave us all in the vehicle for about 10 minutes midway through the tour so he could hop out to pray at a nearby mosque. The parking lot full of Rolls-Royce, Porsche, Maserati and Bentley SUVs conveyed its own message, but maybe not one the Prophet would fully endorse.

As for that airport? Chef’s kiss. Especially if you happen to be departing in Qatar business class like I did thanks to my trusty stockpile of credit card points. There is a separate entrance to the departure terminal for business and firsts class passengers, where you are greeted and personally escorted directly to a ticket agent. There is no waiting in line, no weighing of bags and none of the typical airport stress. From there, you are guided along to a dedicated passport control area and a dedicated baggage scanning area before briefly walking through a short section of the general departure terminal on your way to the dedicated business class lounge, where you are met with a massive room with various seating areas surrounding a giant water feature, a spa, a business center, several self-service snack stations and a full-service restaurant. (There is a separate and presumably even better lounge for first class passengers.) The food was of a high quality, the internet was fast and the lounge never got the least bit crowded. The lie-flat, business class seats and champagne selection were pretty amazing too. I’ve never been so pampered in my life and have absolutely NOTHING bad to say about my Qatar Airways experience.

In case you can’t tell, I don’t have any desire to visit Doha again. Let’s just say it wears me out. But I would be delighted to spend another afternoon at DOH on a layover on my way to someplace more interesting.