The Global Slowmad

In arguably the most anticipated return since the Beatles reunion that never materialized, we finally made it back to London.

We have SO many fond memories of this city. Stuart spent a semester studying abroad in London during his last year of law school while we were still in the early stage of dating. He spent countless evenings talking to Darla deep into the chilly night at the pay phone down the street. He even flew Darla out here over her birthday weekend to see Eric Clapton in concert. Before you start thinking he couldn’t be more romantic, keep in mind that he also thought it would be a good idea to take Darla straight from the airport after an overnight flight to endure a three-hour open-top bus tour.

We returned nine years later with our son, nephew and a stuffed Garfield toy, riding the fancy new London Eye, taking a boat down the Thames to Greenwich, witnessing the changing of the guard, walking the hallowed corridors of Westminster Abbey and listening to grisly tales of execution and torture from a yeoman warder at the Tower of London. (Pictures below.) But we hadn’t been back since.

Things have changed just a little over the last 27 years: the UK is no longer part of the EU; the city has a skyline and actual skyscrapers now; traffic is somehow both better and worse; cigarette smoke is almost non-existent; the tacky postcards in phone booths promoting escort services are gone – as are most of the phone booths; food has improved; shopping is now a full-contact sport; the pigeons have been banished from Trafalgar Square; and entire neighborhoods have transitioned from downtrodden and dangerous to trendy and exclusive.

Since we saw most of the “must-see” attractions years ago and really aren’t interested in the British royal family (although we did get a good laugh about a clever art installation at Windsor Palace to honor some American guests our first week here), we’re not sightseeing much on this trip. Consequently, this is more of a how-to-enjoy-London post than a what-to-see-in-London post. It’s also Darla’s last stop before she heads back to Tulsa, and we’d like to think we’ve learned a few things over the last six months of slow travel. So without further ado . . .

Pace Yourself

As an initial matter, it’s worth recognizing that London is a crazy-quilt of individual neighborhoods connected by a public transit system that resembles a bundle of loose threads. Each neighborhood could easily keep you occupied for a month or more. At some point, we might sit down and prepare a few neighborhood mini-guides full of food, drink and entertainment recommendations. For now, we’ll just advise against trying to tackle more than one or two neighborhoods in a day. After all, you’ll probably be back again someday.

The Tube Is Your Friend

Uber and taxis are not great options for getting around due to traffic (and cost). The classic double-decker buses are plentiful but are not very comfortable and are a particularly slow method of transit because they are stuck in (and often the cause of) the same traffic congestion. The London Underground (oldest subway system in the world) is chaotic and often way too hot, but it is still the best way to get around greater London. Do yourself a favor and stay in a neighborhood with decent tube access unless you just really enjoy walking long distances in an urban environment during unpredictable weather. You do you. (Speaking of weather, be sure to bring multiple layers of clothing, along with an umbrella and a rain jacket.)

Consider a Short-Term Rental for Lodging

We typically prefer short-term rentals like AirBNB over hotels and find that to be especially true in London. It’s a relief to retreat to a comfortable apartment at the end of a long day where we can have a little private space. We are thankful to be staying in our quiet Notting Hill neighborhood away from the chaos of the more central streets where most hotels are located. It’s fun to people-watch the locals when running errands. The rental itself is no more expensive than a hotel, and we save time and money snacking on items from local markets and even doing some light cooking instead of having to fight the slow-moving hordes multiple times a day to eat out at overpriced restaurants in the major hotel zones.

Think Unconventionally about Food and Drink

While we’re on the topic of food, London has stepped up its culinary game in a big way. It no longer is merely the province of cheap chippies and curry houses but now is home to countless Michelin stars and temples of haute cuisine. Unfortunately for foodie travelers like us, those highly rated restaurants also tend to be prohibitively expensive. Nowhere is price inflation more apparent than in the cost of a meal; it’s hard to find a decent fish and chips for less than 20 pounds anymore.

The trick to eating well is to remember that London is a global melting pot blessed with a lot of mom-and-pop international cuisine that is just as good as the critically lauded places and far more likely to be affordable. You also can find some pretty good mid-range spots via Time Out listicles (conveniently organized by neighborhood), the Good Food Guide or a simple “best food near me open now” Google maps query. Due to the price of commercial real estate, it’s difficult to stay in business if your kitchen is putting out subpar food, so anything that’s been around for more than a year is usually a safe bet. It pays to be creative too: to keep our food budget under control, we took advantage of some expiring Hilton credits to dine at a couple of very good hotel restaurants and leveraged some early bird dining discounts via the Fork reservation platform.

Public houses (a/k/a pubs) cater mostly to the people who live on the surrounding blocks, so don’t obsess too much over finding the “best pub” in London. The vast majority of pubs are owned by large restaurant groups these days anyway. If you find an independent pub in your neighborhood that has managed to survive this long, it’s probably a good option and is not worth venturing far afield in search of something better. Having said that, we took a curated pub history tour with a professional pub historian (talk about a dream job!) and have a few pubs we’d highly recommend. Specifically, we loved the exotic marble and way-too-fancy-to-be-a-normal-pub interior of the Black Friar (which was secretly funded by the Catholic church to protest an English king’s decision to eliminate the monastic order that once stood there), the Cockpit (established in a former cockfighting venue) and Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese (which credibly claims to be the oldest pub in London and certainly has the lowest ceilings). We learned on our tour that the number of pubs in the UK is on the decline, so you’re really doing a “public” service (dad humor!) with every pint. If it helps the costs of your suds go down a little easier, you can always toast to charity and feel approximately 500 ml better about yourself. Rinse and repeat.

Take a Nature Break

We know you’re in London for the big city experience. However, if you are here for more than a few days, you may find yourself in need of a break from the sensory overload of lights, noise and people. That’s a good opportunity to seek out one of the city’s many parks and canal paths. It was somewhat surprising to us just how much wildlife can be found in the city. We encountered a blue heron at a traffic roundabout near Hampstead, pelicans in St James Park, swans in Kensington Park and a seemingly confused juvenile raven that was trying to find its way into the Tower of London. We’ve had multiple interactions with a couple of cute foxes that lived on our block in Notting Hill. Based on the noises we hear in the wee hours of the night, we can only assume the foxes routinely undergo some sort of werefox transformation that really pisses off the cat next door. Eat your heart out, Warren Zevon. Ah-hoo, indeed.

What to Do with Your Time

We can hear you now. This already-way-too-long post is almost over, and we’ve yet to share any fun activities to do while you’re here. It’s basically just been a tedious London survival guide. Well. In terms of entertainment, original live music is surprisingly hard to find in central London; most of what you will find is cheesy acoustic covers at places catering to middle-aged visitors from overseas. National museums are free but crowded; private museums are pricey but slightly less crowded. And you already know how we feel about the must-see attractions.

So what do we recommend doing if, like us, you are returning to London after a long hiatus? Here are a few activities to consider:

• Liquid History Drink London pub tour – the pub tour we mentioned above was Stuart’s favorite tour ever. Nothing beats a history lesson about the consumption of beer. With beer.

• London Walks Frozen Music London Architecture Walk – the central business district is the oldest part of town and is known simply as “the city”; an incredible amount of building has happened here over the last 25 years, which results in some fascinating juxtapositions of old and new.

• London with a Local Free Street Art of Shoreditch Tour – Shoreditch and Brick Lane are at the heart of the local street art scene, but it’s easier to find the cool stuff with a guide. The nearby Spitalfields Market is also a food and shopping treasure. We LOVED Shoreditch and will probably try to stay here the next time we’re in town.

• London with a Local Free Rock & Roll Soho walking tour – Few neighborhoods have changed as much as Soho over the last 50 years, so it’s nearly impossible to locate the landmarks (including the rooftop where the Beatles last performed together and the bar where Jimi Hendrix first performed in London) and appreciate the history without a professional guide.

• London with a Local Free Royal Westminster Tour – If you really feel obligated to partake in royal London, this is a much less stressful way to do it; our small group of six was treated to a closeup viewpoint for the changing of the guard then strolled over to Parliament just in time to hear Big Ben announce the hour.

• Friday nights at the British Museum – This famously crowded and labyrinthine museum is open late on Friday evenings when you can have the place largely to yourself. We splurged for a private, small group tour with London Walks so we could see it more efficiently, but the timing is key.

• Discounted theatre tickets – Most London stage productions have some tickets available at a heavily discounted price via the TKTS booth at Leicester Square or the Today Tix app. (We paid $59 each for seats on the front row of the balcony to see an excellent reincarnation of the 1967 Mel Brooks film, The Producers.) Be mindful to avoid obstructed view seats, but it’s a bargain compared to Broadway.

• Frank’s Café in Peckham – You can pay a lot more to populate your Instagram feed, but this rooftop bar on a parking garage south of the Thames is an absolute bargain with $5 happy hour cocktail specials and an unobstructed view of the city.

• Canal walk from Camden to Kings Cross – The canals have been (mostly) cleaned up and make for a lovely stroll. This particular stretch is a nice way to bridge the rock-and-roll, open-air market vibe of Camden with the upscale and hipster new food and retail development at the Coal Drops Yard.

• Covent Garden – this highly gentrified haven for boutique and big-name shopping and entertainment is one of the few parts of town that attracts both fashionable locals and (decidedly unfashionable) tourists.

It’s also fun to just get out and wander whatever neighborhood strikes your fancy. The architecture is sure to be interesting. There is art all around you (and sometimes under your feet). You can learn a lot just looking out for the blue historical plaques on the side of buildings. The spectacle of humanity is equally entertaining. And if all else fails, you can venture out after nightfall to howl with the werefoxes of London.