The Global Slowmad

“What have we . . . what have we . . . what have we done to deserve this?”

The idea seemed simple enough: hop a quick train from Swansea to Cardiff to attend a Pet Shop Boys concert at Cardiff Castle (a nostalgic juxtaposition of the 1980’s and the 1280’s) with a quick overnight at a nearby hotel. Unfortunately, the universe was not going to let it be that easy.

The train service in Wales is a bit chaotic on a good day. To be kind. In addition to the standard European practice of not announcing the platform until a few minutes before departure, Welsh trains do not allow you to reserve seats. Ever. This results in a free-for-all on popular routes on popular days. Like, say, a weekend where the top-selling pop duo in UK history and the top modern Welsh rock band (Catfish and the Bottlemen) happen to be in town on consecutive nights. We knew by this point that the train cars themselves are on the smaller side, so we intentionally packed light (backpacks only) for this trip. After securing our seats for the journey, we merely had to tolerate a 50-minute ride to Cardiff Central. No problem.

Upon arrival, we alighted from the train to a veritable carnival of humanity. We found it frustratingly difficult to navigate the station, and we soon found ourselves on a pedestrian street on the opposite side from the entrance. Faced with the choice of fighting our way back through the crowds to wait in what surely would be an interminably long taxi queue or sucking it up and just tackling the 0.9 mile walk to our hotel, we opted for the latter. It happened to be an unusually warm July afternoon, so the urban hike lugging our backpacks through downtown Cardiff and its many, many intersections was more challenging than we anticipated.

At long last, we arrived at our hotel, the Easyhotel Cardiff Centre. Perfect. What could possibly go wrong with a name like that! Things started out well enough, as the desk clerk kindly let us check in a little early without charging the ridiculous $15 early check-in fee that we read about on the hotel website (after we had already paid for the room using the remaining hotel credit from one of our credit cards). Then we walked down an uncomfortably warm hallway and entered our uncomfortably warm room. Or should we say closet? Yes, we had managed to book what we now believe to be the world’s smallest hotel room.

Much like our room in Dublin, the bed was only accessible on one side because the other was flush against the wall. There were no chairs, no tables, no closet and no provided storage aside from a couple of coat hooks on the back of the door. The bathroom door would not close if someone was at the sink or toilet. We initially were a little alarmed when we realized the window did not open, but we quickly discovered a thermostat and were relieved when cold air came on a few seconds later. (The nice thing about air conditioning a room the size of a mini fridge is that it cooled down quickly.) We did not manage to take any pictures of the room, but all they would have shown is a couple of backpacks stacked on a bed next to two grumpy occupants.

We can all agree that our little side trip was not off to a great start. Fortunately, that’s when things began to turn around. We left our bags at the hotel and headed back toward the city center, where we enjoyed a creative and surprisingly spicy meal at a Mexican restaurant called Wahaca that was started by a former UK Masterchef winner. We stopped at a quaint and historic-looking cocktail bar named Bootlegger, where we met a talkative gentleman from Singapore named Raj who shared a couple-thousand years of Welsh history with us but also a few really helpful sightseeing suggestions for later in our trip. At long last, it was time for the concert.

Let’s start with something we both can agree on: it was a pretty cool venue for a show. We entered through the park adjacent to the castle, crossing the dry moat and passing the original tower on our way into the venue. Another thing we can agree on is that the Pet Shop Boys still put on a good show. Neil Tennant’s voice is as good as ever, and the coordination of their costumes and the background video wall was exquisite.

But it’s been a long time since we’ve attended a concert that size. And a really long time since we’ve attended anything resembling an outdoor music festival – even if it technically was a castle courtyard.

Stuart found the expansive audience of distinctly middle-aged people who were so emotionally invested in reliving favorite memories of their youth to be invigorating and a little inspiring. For him, the show made the whole trip worthwhile.

Darla found the giant crowd to be an infringement on her personal space. In addition, it had rained earlier in the day, so the ground was too muddy to sit down for even a moment. Darla has difficulty standing for extended periods, so it was rather frustrating for her to be so uncomfortable while finally getting to see one of her all-time-favorite bands perform live.

We left our bags at the front desk the next morning (where a different desk clerk once again luckily failed to charge us the mandatory bag check fee) and headed out for a quick breakfast before joining a fun guided tour of the city center with Fogo’s Walking Tours. We saw Doctor Who filming locations, learned a little more about the castle and heard a lot about the Bute family that for a time became the wealthiest in the world as the leading shipper of coal from Cardiff during the industrial golden age.

The city feels like a proper capital. In fact, the entire city center has the vibe of a trendy but recently gentrified neighborhood, with restaurants, bars and shops overflowing with hipsters and Sex and the City types. They have done a great job preserving and even improving upon their grand old architecture — whether Roman, medieval or Victorian. After touring Cardiff, we finally understood the appeal of the indoor shopping arcades that had confused us so much in Swansea. Here, they were clean and attractive spaces out of the elements where cafes and niche retailers could thrive instead of run-down and half-empty storefronts with the aesthetic appeal of a flea market.

When our walking tour was over, we closed out our visit with an outstanding lunch at the Purple Poppadom, some freshly baked rye bread from Brod and a couple of craft beers from the Crafty Devil. The day was going well.

Unfortunately, the universe was not quite done with us. A fresh swarm of visitors were arriving for the Catfish and the Bottlemen concert by the time we reached the train station. It turns out the crowds we’d encountered at the Pet Shop Boys concert were just the tip of the iceberg. We felt like we were heading the wrong direction in a salmon run. And to top things off, the departing trains were all late. So we ended up spending a ridiculous amount of time waiting shoulder-to-shoulder outdoors on the platform on a hot day with a few trainloads’ worth of passengers, knowing that we’d be lucky to get seats together. We happened to be within earshot of a well-intentioned young train enthusiast who was happy to give everyone nearby a full rundown of what was going on and just how long we might have to wait. It didn’t help.

When we finally made it back to our quiet apartment on the waterfront at the end of the day, Darla swore she’d never leave the friendly confines of Swansea again.

Stuart would go back to Cardiff in a heartbeat.